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    • Internalized Stigma — March 11, 2019

    Epstein

    Written by Epstein, Writer & Clare Housing Resident

    It’s just another day of living with my aches and pains. I start my physical therapy regimen. Laying and stretching, I find myself thinking back on how good I feel about having my Facebook friends donate to a nonprofit organization instead of sending me birthday gifts. I chose Clare Housing as my nonprofit.

    My decision to do this was in part my way informing my high school friends on Facebook about my HIV status. We’re connected online, but I have limited to no contact with them in person. Choosing Clare Housing was my way to bring up my being HIV positive. I’ve been living with HIV for the past 30 years. Why share this information only now? Is It because I was ashamed that I was positive? Was it a feeling of guilt that I was positive and had to hide it? I guess it was both.

    Do you find yourself struggling with these types of thoughts about your status? I talked with my therapist about why I do this. She told me that this was an example of internalized HIV stigma. Now, what’s that all about?

    Internalized stigma happens when a person living with HIV experiences negative beliefs or thoughts about their status. According to the CDC, 8 out of 10 individuals suffer from it. What is it like to have internalized stigma? Here is a list of statements that people who have it may agree with:

    • I am ashamed that I am HIV positive.
    • I hide my status from others.
    • Being positive makes me feel dirty.
    • It is difficult to tell others about my HIV status.

    Can you imagine walking around all day with these thoughts at the back of your mind? It’s a huge drain on your emotions and an unspoken barrier in your relationships with others. So, the big question is: How can people living with HIV reduce internalized stigma?

    • Stop and think about the negative beliefs you have about yourself. Ask yourself: Are these beliefs accurate?
    • Continue taking prescribed medication to stay undetectable. Keeping an undetectable viral load and staying healthy can help reduce internalized stigma. I can’t stress enough the value of staying on your treatment regimen!
    • Talk to someone. Find a counselor who can help us deal with the negative thoughts and feelings about our HIV status.
    • Find and join a support group and seek out HIV/AIDS organizations. They provide a safe environment where you can be with others with similar life experiences. Together, you can help each other overcome common challenges

    Yes, HIV stigma still exists today, but there’s hope. There is hope in all the work that has been done to raise awareness and breakdown the stigma already. There’s hope in the U = U movement.

    And there’s hope in all of the people who continue to live their lives with HIV because we won’t let the virus — or the stigma that surrounds it — hold us back.